So, a fussy ex-military amateur sleuth walks into a brothel and saves the world.
(Stop me if you've heard it.)
A comically tragic spectacle; a cathartic balm for our times; a cerebral pack of filthy lies.
A shuttle pilot once remarked to me, "You know, no one needs a monthly visit from an undying alien armada just to remember rent's due."
But you'd be surprised.
For generations, the Unified Fiduciary Dominion has relied on the military contractors of the Board to defend our planet (and its revenue streams) from Fleet Eternal. Now, those preening corporate punks have left us dangling.
Armed with exclusive investigatory powers, I've collaborated with Zhou—Ruby District madame—to scry the mysterious schemes unfolding over our heads.
Why are time-tested battle plans of the Alpha Vector Defense Corps suddenly failing? And why is the Board sitting idly by as casualties pile up in the Divisions? Does inventory attrition prevention mean nothing anymore?!
Not to belabor the many faults of these Incorporated scoundrels, but just know this: A few weeks ago, after I discovered they're probably about to get us all broiled alive in orbital battle radiation, I'm pretty sure one of the fuckers ruined my best jacket by ordering a lackey to put a knife through it on a busy industrial boulevard. While I was still wearing it.
My best jacket.
The verdict is clear. (clears throat) That is ... the verdict is clearish. Let this report serve as our collective judgment all the same.
Behold, fellow plebs; take heart in these dark days, and stand tall once again.
The Board may not fear Fleet Eternal, but it will fear The Interviewer.
Fans of Dennis E. Taylor, Ann Leckie, John Scalzi, Martha Wells, and Tamsyn Muir—READ THIS BOOK NOW!
Every 30 days, Fleet Eternal winks into existence, surrounding the planet to lay siege upon a complacent and toiling populace. The enemy is tireless—its armaments unbeatable, its numbers uncountable. But the terrifying assault has one slight flaw: full retreat is triggered by a mere .01% casualty rate, if you can kill them fast enough...