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AEnB2UoKmk-sDhWLAJ7GmGHsIOTtKkmG2qB81E_e
go on touch it header
  • Go on, touch it.

  • Should I?

  • I’m not sure.

  • Go on, touch it.

  • I’d really like to touch it.

  • Me too. It’s strange, isn’t it?

  • How so?

  • Well, why do we want to touch it, do you think?

  • Go on, touch it.

  • Yes, I think I agree. Go on, touch it.

  • Alright.

  • Is he going to touch it?

  • Are you really going to touch it?

  • Oh, he’s going to touch it.

  • Yes, I’m going to touch it. Here I go.

  • There he goes.

  • Yes, there he goes.

  • I’m touchi

  • Oh, he touched it.

  • Yeah, he touched it!

  • What happened?

  • He’s dead now.

  • Yeah, he definitely died.

  • Do you think it’s because he touched it?

  • It’s hard to think why it wouldn’t have been that, right?

  • Agreed.

  • Yes.

  • Yeah.

  • Indeed.

  • It’s definitely because he touched it.

  • That’s really disappointing.

  • Go on, touch it.

  • I know right! I still really want to!

  • Me too!

  • Hahaha, oh my god, I’m so glad I’m not the only one.

  • What is it?

  • I mean, that’s the question isn’t it?

  • How do we find out?

  • Go on, touch it.

  • Yes, I agree.

  • Me too.

  • How else are we going to know?

  • Go on, touch it.

  • Yes, go on, touch it.

  • Touch it!

  • Wait, who?

  • Me?

  • Go on, touch it.

  • No, not you. Touch it.

  • I’ll touch it.

  • There, see, she’ll touch it.

  • Yes, she’ll touch it.

  • Go on—oh she’s already dead.

  • Yeah, I think she might have died on the way to touching it.

  • Did anybody get a good look?

  • I was too busy talking about who’s going to touch it.

  • Me too.

  • Yep.

  • Yes, I’m guilty as well.

  • Same here.

  • Well, the original question still stands then, doesn’t it?

  • Agreed.

  • Touch it?

  • Go on, touch it.

  • I’ll be honest, I would touch it, but now I’m worried about dying.

  • Me too.

  • Yeah, me too.

  • I think I might be really worried about dying if I touch it.

  • Me too!

  • Yes, I was feeling the same way.

  • Yeah. Haha.

  • This situation is more complex than it first appeared.

  • Mm.

  • Indeed.

  • Yep.

  • I have an idea.

  • He’s got an idea.

  • Go on, then.

  • Well, what if somebody touches it, and then somebody touches them touching it?

  • Go on, touch it, touch it?

  • Precisely.

  • I don’t understand.

  • Me either.

  • I might.

  • Do you want to touch it, or touch it, touch it?

  • I’ll touch it, touch it, if that’s okay.

  • Who’s going to touch it, then?

  • Go on, touch it.

  • Should I?

  • Should you?

  • Should she?

  • Yeah, go on.

  • Go on, touch it.

  • I agree.

  • Yes, I think that’s best.

  • Agreed.

  • Mm-hm.

  • Okay, here I go.

  • Wait!

  • Is he touching you?

  • Oh, right, haha.

  • Hahahaha.

  • Oh my god.

  • Imagine.

  • Could you imagine?

  • Geez.

  • Oh man. We’re losing focus here.

  • Eyes on the prize everyone, come on.

  • Sorry, I got caught up in the moment and forgot.

  • It’s okay.

  • Me too.

  • Go on, touch it, then.

  • Yes, right.

  • Right, right.

  • Okay, everybody remembers the plan?

  • Right, okay.

  • Yes, I do.

  • Me too.

  • Yes.

  • Alright, everybody touch him then.

  • Right?

  • Is that—

  • Okay.

  • Right.

  • Yes.

  • Go on, touch it.

  • Everybody’s ready?

  • Yes!

  • I am.

  • I’m so excited!

  • Me too!

  • Here we go.

  • Indeed.

  • Go on! Tou

  •  

  •  

  •  

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more from

STEPHEN M.A.

Author: sci-fi, pew pew, subversion

Stan Stan the Bacteria Man cover tablet mockup, featuring a repeating pattern of White House graphics interweaved with the title and wave formations of bacteria, with a tiny orange figure of Stan and his dog at the very bottom

●Stan the bacteria man appeared in the Oval Office on a gloomy Tuesday morning in late August.

●  A wildly weird journey into the indeterminate future of this Great Nation full of 0.50-inch service weapon rounds.

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